The past couple weeks I had the pleasure of watching pretty much every movie that has been made by low budget indie group Hack Movies. And it got me to thinking back to the one time…or maybe two times if you really want to count it…that I myself attempted to make a movie.
In late 2002 and early 2003 fresh out of High School and wanting to find a way to kill a few weekends me and my friends got the grand idea, “Hey! we have a camera..lets make a movie!!”. What we went on to make sadly wasn’t a horror film. It wasn’t hardly a film, it was a half assed parody of both Lord of the Rings and Star Wars called Lord of the Latex…and latex was spelled wrong being spelled “Laytex” which we kept for reasons I don’t know.
We made the first (clocking in at around 21 minutes) then three months later we got some more friends together and made a sequel (clocking in at about 25 minutes) even if you had placed the two together you’d never be able to call it a full film and it was soo mind numbingly bad nobody would want to watch it anyway. To tell you the truth we’d be too ashamed of it to let anyone watch it now days.
See folks me and my friends were stuck in the middle of what we like to call our “Kevin Smith” phase, meaning the juvenile humor was at a level of the highest magnitude as I, playing the role of “Conroy” teamed up with “Master Baitor” and “Hung So-Lo” to do battle with the evil “C.L.I.T” to not only regain my very soul (a piece of paper in a jar that said “Chuck’s Soul”) but to gain the powerful golden condom that promised endless bliss to whoever had it…our half ass Lord of the Rings element.
We would go on to tossed pretty famous songs in the background of each scene meaning it would be legally impossible to even try to show it off at the time to anyone with hopes it would possible be picked up. And as far as a script goes, part 1 was half a page long and there wasn’t even a script for part 2 if that tells you anything. And the plot (if you really want to call it that) was soo weird and confusing Donnie Darko had nothing on us.
Was it soo bad I’d be ashamed to let anyone see it now? You bet! But was it fun while we were making it? Indeed it was..See Hack Movies reminded me of how much fun it could be to make your own movie, even if the movie sucks. I may one day try again at making a movie but rest a sure this time it’ll be A LOT better and of course be a very VERY bloody horror movie.
Chucks website
