Well, it’s that time of year again! The one time of the year when even the most ashamed pro wrestling fan can peek their heads out of the dark and into the bright colored world! And why is that? Because it’s WRESTLEMANIA weekend!!! WrestleMania XXVIII will take place in Miami tomorrow night and as usual it’s a stacked card. A stacked card that is topped by John Cena vs. The Rock! Rock’s first 1 on 1 match in a loooong loooong time. And keeping with a tradition I started LAST YEAR, when I was an astonishing 50% on my pics, I will run down the card and predict the winners! Feel free to reply with your own…
Maria Menounos and Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres
And here’s a prime example of the MANIA in WrestleMania. The WWE didn’t want to the go the logical route of simply having WWE Divas Champion Beth Phoenix defend her title. No, they went out and got the very attractive celebrity, Maria Menounos, step in and form a team with Kelly Kelly to face Beth and Eve. And I couldn’t seem to care less. Sometimes matches get bumped from the main card to the pre-show, with the announcement of a pre-show match already, we have no hope for this being bumped. But with the hurt ribs of Marie (which she got from Dancing with the Stars), at least it’ll be short.
WINNERS: MARIA & KELLY
Randy Orton vs Kane
Speaking of not caring, we have Randy Orton vs. Kane! Count me among the people who don’t get why they could have did Zach Ryder vs. Kane and just tossed Orton into the World title match, but they didn’t so here we are. They have tried and tried to make this match look like more than just a tossed together match with two big names they couldn’t leave off the card. They have tried and they have failed. Orton is probably not really happy with this match.Kane is a company guy. You do the math.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
TEAM JOHNNY
David Otunga, Mark Henry, The Miz, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, and Drew McIntyre
vs
TEAM TEDDY
Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, The Great Khali, Zack Ryder, and Booker T
Winning Team’s GM Becomes GM Of Both Raw and Smackdown
So the winning team gets their guy the lone control of both RAW and SMACKDOWN? Well, let’s see here..Johnny Ace (can I still call him that?) is also the whatever of talent relations in WWE. That could keep him around even if he isn’t a GM. Teddy Long however doesn’t have much to do if his team doesn’t win. I mean what is he going to do? Ref? Manage? Probably not.
WINNERS: TEAM TEDDY
Cody Rhodes © vs The Big Show
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Have you noticed how so far we’ve had a lot of “good guys” win the matches? Well we can’t have too much of that now can we? This also plays into the fact that the WWE sometimes gos down the road least likely to be traveled at Mania just to shock people. As a result, to spite this match being built around the fact Big Show has done a fine job of making an ass of himself at past WrestleManias, I’m going with the upset. Besides, Show doesn’t need the IC title and I picked Cody in an upset last year (and I was right).
WINNER: CODY RHODES
Triple H vs The Undertaker
Hell in a Cell
Special Referee: Shawn Michaels
Now we are getting to the important stuff! So long story short, Undertaker is 19 and 0 at WrestleMania. He’s already beat Triple H twice (one was last year). He had also beaten the ref here, Shawn Michaels, two years in a row as well. Shawn is Triple H’s bff for life..or is he? See there? The WWE has put just enough questions in our heads to make us second guess ourselves on just how this one will turn out. But if common sense still exists in the world of wrestling (and that’s for sure in question), the man who will someday run the WWE won’t end the legendary streak of The Undertaker. That’s just bad for business! Look for some shocks and surprises in this one. Hell, look for blood!! But also look for Taker to go 20 and 0.
WINNER: THE UNDERTAKER
Daniel Bryan © vs Sheamus
World Heavyweight Championship
Heeeeey, remember when these two were supposed to wrestle last year at Mania and got bumped for some B.S.? WWE apparently remembers as well and justice is now served.. But let’s not get too happy just yet. WWE has a habit of having one match end extremely quick. And if time is an issue, I could see the bell ring, Sheamus boot Bryan, and a 1.2.3, right then. I HOPE that’s not what happens, because if allowed to play out, this match is one that is more unpredictable. Does the WWE cut the legs out from under Bryan, who is hitting his stride as the great heel he has become? Or do they give the title to the Royal Rumble winner, due to the fact that they haven’t done that in a while? I’m hoping for the best, but odds are I might just be wrong about this one.
WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN (AJ doesn’t turn on the big meany just YET)
CM Punk © vs Chris Jericho
WWE Championship
And we have reached the match that will probably be THE best wrestling match on the show. The battle to see just who is THE best in the world! A few things should be taken into account when picking a winner here. Next month’s pay-per-view is in Punk’s home of Chicago. So does it work better to have him defending or trying to regain the WWE Title there? Also, Jericho’s band in going on tour. So how long is he even hanging around? But I will say this, notice how many good guys have won so far?? Yep, yep…
WINNER: CHRIS JERICHO
John Cena vs The Rock
And here we are. The reason most people are watching the show. One of the two biggest stars of WWE’s Attitude era, The Rock, returning to face the man who’s been the face of the company for about seven years now, John Cena. Logic would say WWE has Rock put Cena over here, due to the fact that Rock isn’t hanging around after Mania. Sure, he will be back. but is that enough for them to give him the nod? Cena on the other hand has been rather dull for a while now. WWE could go the predictable route and have Cena simply beat Rock, do a hand shake, and say goodnight. They could also go the least likely way of having Cena actually turn heel to beat Rock. But we ARE in Miami. That’s The Rock’s home. If Cena wins could we have a riot on our hands? We’d probably at least get a WrestleMania closing with a ring full of trash, in a sight that would go over about as well as the ending of WrestleMania 17 did, when Rock was on the losing end there as well. No matter what way they do go, this is one pick where I REALLY hope I’m wrong.
WINNER: JOHN CENA
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