Movie Theater Massacre (2023) (Blu-ray Review)
DIRECTED BY: Ian Courtney
STARRING: Jalen Wilson-Nelem, Adam DeFilippi, Caitlin Cavannaugh
RATED: UR/Region: O/2:35/1080P/NUMBER OF DISCS 1 (BDr)
AVAILABLE FROM Good Deed Entertainment
There are few things more depressing than a movie theater going out of business. You lose the smell of popcorn, the sticky floors, the overpriced candy, and the joy of paying $18 to watch a movie you could have streamed at home three weeks later.
So naturally, Movie Theater Massacre looks at that sad situation and says, “You know what would make this worse? A fucking serial killer.”
Directed by Ian Courtney, this 2023 horror-comedy follows a group of employees working their final week at a dying movie theater when a mysterious figure starts knocking people off.
On paper, this is a pretty damn good setup for a slasher. A movie theater is practically begging to be used for horror. Dark hallways, empty auditoriums, creepy projection rooms, storage areas, giant movie screens, and enough sharp objects backstage to make OSHA spontaneously combust.
And to its credit, Movie Theater Massacre clearly loves movies.
That’s probably the best thing about it.
There’s a genuine affection for the moviegoing experience running through the film, and a lot of the dialogue and references come from people who clearly spend way too much time talking about cinema. Which, coming from someone watching a movie about people working in a movie theater, seems pretty appropriate.
The problem is that the movie sometimes seems considerably more interested in talking about movies than actually being a horror movie.
There are long stretches of employees hanging around, chatting, joking, discussing movies and generally behaving like we’re watching a workplace comedy that occasionally remembers there’s a masked lunatic wandering around somewhere.
And that’s where things get frustrating.
You’ve got a title like Movie Theater Massacre. The word massacre is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
The runtime is only around 72 minutes, yet there are moments when it somehow feels like the theater has been holding you hostage for three hours. The movie has a deliberate, hangout-style pace, but unfortunately some of those conversations aren’t nearly as entertaining as the filmmakers seem to think they are.
Still, there’s something oddly charming about the whole thing.
This is very clearly a low-budget passion project, and Courtney—who wrote, directed, edited, and handled the cinematography—was wearing a lot of hats. You can see the limitations, but you can also see the enthusiasm. There’s a scrappy quality to it that makes it difficult to completely hate.
And when the movie finally decides to embrace the horror side of the equation, things get considerably more interesting.
The mysterious figure has a suitably creepy presence, and there are some fun ideas buried underneath all the talking. The movie also has a wonderfully strange final stretch that goes in a direction I wasn’t expecting. Let’s just say that if you think you’ve figured out exactly what kind of movie you’re watching, Movie Theater Massacre may have one more middle finger to wave at you before the credits roll.
The cast also deserves some credit for committing to the material. Linnea Quigley shows up, which is always a welcome sight for horror fans, and there’s a definite “friends got together and decided to make a movie” energy throughout the production.
Is it polished?
Hell no.
Is it always scary?
Not particularly.
Does it sometimes feel like you’re watching a bunch of people hanging out at a movie theater while someone occasionally remembers to murder somebody?
Absolutely.
But there’s a heart underneath all the rough edges. The film is essentially a love letter to movie theaters at a time when they’re struggling to survive, wrapped inside a low-budget slasher and occasionally held together with duct tape, movie references, and sheer enthusiasm.
So Movie Theater Massacre is a mixed bag. I wish it had spent less time on the chatter and more time letting the killer do what the title promises. But I can’t completely dismiss a movie made with this much obvious affection for cinema.
It’s not exactly the Friday the 13th of movie theaters.
It’s more like the Clerks of movie theater slashers… if someone occasionally stabbed Kevin Smith.
And honestly, I’d probably buy a ticket for that.
Extras
- Director’s Audio Commentary
