Well whoever made this sure took a giant swing and missed..
Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009)
Directed By: Kevin Hamedani
The Prologue
I think everyone knows I’m a big fan of zombie movies. I also really like the comedic ones as both The Return of the Living Dead and Shaun of the Dead were favorites of mine. But regardless of what the quote on the cover of this movie says, Zombies of Mass Destruction is nowhere near Shaun of the Dead on any level at all.
Let it known, you can’t just toss stumbling zombies on my tv screen and toss in a few laughs and please Chuck Conry! I like a little sizzle with my steak and there’s no sizzle here..I don’t even think we have any steak.
The Movie
Life is wonderful for the people in the quiet, island town of Port Gamble….until a zombie virus outbreak! An outbreak that apparently is played off as a terrorist attack which gives the people in the movie reason to blame this on our half Iranian star of the film Frida. We can only assume it’s terrorist because another reason is never given and no, sadly it doesn’t work out as well leaving that plot point open as it did for Night of the Living Dead.
This movie has zombies, blood, and comedy. So why is it that I didn’t like this movie very much at all?? I think it has to do the fact that I got the feeling this film wanted to be Shaun of the Dead so bad it couldn’t stand it and sadly it just wasn’t smart enough to be on that level to spite what Bloody Disgusting might have told you in a review.
The film does have some funny spots but it just tries way WAY to hard at it. Also the director has a lot to say…Oh wait..no, no he doesn’t. It seems the director just wants to have his characters go on and on about homosexuals, religion, and being prejudice. For as long as the movie runs those things are pretty much all you hear about as it seems the zombie outbreak takes a back seat to the question of if being a homosexual is worthy of burning in hell. Sure they try to make all the talk of it funny but it just doesn’t work. When people are cooped up in a church looking for safety I’d like to think that even in the best of horror comedies (like Return of the Living Dead) that the main focus of our cast would be on the zombies and not the sexuality of the two gay guys there.
The plot gets rolling fast enough as it doesn’t take long for the Zombies to invade the town. We get to know our characters right off the bat and find out what they are about but the trouble is none of them are really likable. It has nothing to do with their sexuality, race, or religion, it’s just these people kinda..well..suck. I’d dare say the best character in the film is Frita’s father who looks sorta like a zombie long before the outbreak ever happens. His full on rage during the whole film for a number of different things was the only real laugh out loud moments for me.
I think had we had a couple of actual likable people in this film as well as toned down the talk on the subjects I mentioned above (and toned down the comedy as a whole a bit) we could have had a very fun Zombie comedy tale. However when the only thing really good enough about the film to stand out is a minor character and the gore you know you’re in trouble. I can deal with over the top but this movie is just soo over the top it’s goofy not funny.
The Conclusion
It’s bloody, it has a couple of actual funny moments, but it has nothing else really. The movies points are not just touched on they over take the plot of the movie and become very annoying as the movie moves along. This movie is proof that not just anyone can make a funny zombie film.
I was soo sure I’d like this movie when I was reading about it but I’m pretty much disappointed. The gore is enough to raise the total to just average but there’s not much else. The lead is charismatic but the character she plays isn’t one you’d want to really root for and the other two guys are in the same boat so you’re dealing with a movie that stays on auto pilot until the predictable end.
The Rating (5/10)
Chucks website
