I’m at a loss for words..And not because it’s just “that good” because it isn’t.
Destined to Be Ingested (2008)
Directed By: Sofian Khan
The Prologue
Hey look what we got here! Cannibals! I like cannibals, well not really “like” them but I know when they are involved things tend to get a little dirty and grimy. However, that’s not really what happens with the film, Destined to Be Ingested, a film that went wrong right out the gates with a title like that. But this is America damn it!! We don’t judge movies by their names…right? It’s what’s inside that counts with movies. Sadly, this one doesn’t have too much there either and it makes me sad. No, really..I’m for real sad right now..I’m frowning while typing.
The Movie
So what we have here is four people (two couples actually) go on a boating trip with a skipper by the name of Macho. Once they all find out that Macho didn’t know as much as he said he did about navigating, they find themselves on a island that just so happens to be occupied by a tribe of cannibals. Of course it’s not just that simple but I feel if I tell anymore I’d be giving some stuff away. And why should I spoil it for you and let you miss out your chance of feeling the same pain I felt while watching this movie?
When your characters are all snorting coke around the 13 minute mark of your film, there’s a good chance things won’t turn out well for anyone. And among other things in this movie that just don’t work, the characters seem to stand out the most. I mean sure we got a funny skipper named Macho. We got a very very hot woman named Sandy running around in a bikini. Then we have our lead who is always squinting her eyes in tense situations and her asshole husband! So, not a lot to get behind here.
I also think the movie tosses so many different elements together that it loses track of what it’s suppose to be. We go from shades of Jaws, to Cannibal Holocaust, to what seems to resemble The Jungle Book, to some sorta Voodoo Zombie movie. It may sound great, but it doesn’t actually end up that well once everything is mixed together with a dash of humor on top. If you want to be a cannibal movie, then please by all means do that and stick with it, don’t be all over the place because it kills rhythm and nothing adds up.
When all ends in this movie, you really don’t get anything worth holding on to. I’d say if you asked me to name the positives to this film they would be that the film at least looks good, there are shades of of things to indicate that the director has a knack for style and an ability to comprehend what could at least look good. I also like the fact that it’s short. So while it’s all over the place, and doesn’t really all stay on track enough to make you care, it at least doesn’t ware out it’s welcome. So would I really say you need to watch this movie? Nope, I’m afraid not. But I will say if you do watch it you won’t be wasting that much time with it.
The Conclusion
I did not like it and I’m thinking a lot of you might not either but if you want to take your chance with it you can find it and a lot of other cool stuff over at Brain Damage films! Maybe you won’t want to go there and pick this up but they do have some other cool stuff I assure you.
The Rating (4/10)
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