What did I do to deserve having to watch this??
Mega Piranha (2010)
Directed By: Eric Forsberg (Sex Pot)
The Prologue
So what do you get when you mix Asylum with the SyFy Channel? Well first I’d shutter to even think, but the results were none other than Mega Piranha. A film that was at the time (and may still be) the highest rated movie to air on the SyFy Channel when it originally aired. Thus proving to me that you fine folks must really like watching a live action train wreck! But as you’d figure it became my turn to face the evil thing that I feel is this movie, so I’m happy to report I survived, but I’m sad to report it’s about as bad as I assumed it would be.
The Movie
So what do you get with this mess here? You get a mutant strain of giant piranha that just so happen to escape from the Amazon and eat their way toward Florida. And who do we have here to save us? We have a guy that think he’s some action hero and a small group of scientist that consist of singer Tiffany (yes, I think we’re alone now, Tiffany) and it’s just a mess of a plot and story from start to finish.
So where do you start with this thing? How about characters?? Yeah, they suck! I mean I guess I should go into more detail behind a statement like that, so I’ll try my best at doing just that. With a plot as off the wall and bad as this movie has (that I feel is worse than Piranha 2) these people are trying their best to play it dead serious and straight faced without any of the “nudge nudge-wink wink” you’d think something of this nature would call for. They run from the cartoon-like evil military, they fight the giant piranha, and you’d think they were starring in some Oscar worthy film when it’s all a joke. Oh, and it doesn’t help that the actors aren’t even THAT good and go from just OK to bad.
Then we have the CGI..man oh man. The CGI is just bad, bad, bad. Not just bad for low budget, but bad for Syfy and bad for Asylum. I mean sure, the movie isn’t that great and there’s like, no gore what so ever, but good CGI could help and it just doesn’t have that at all. It’s almost cartoon like at times and last I checked I wasn’t watching, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. Add with that the HORRIBLE editing job of the film and there’s just thing after thing to take you right out of the film. Acting, CGI, editing, it all is horrid. At one point (more than once actually) I’m sure they show us the very same shot over and over, it’s not stylish, it’s just bad.
So unless you want to see a sadly past her prime Tiffany there isn’t a lot to see here. I mean sure it’s cringe worthy bad. Sure, you get to see a grown man lay on his back and go all Lu Kang by bicycle kicking piranha as they fly at him. Sure, you get to see some of the worst acting I have ever seen..period. But, at the end of the day, do you really want to see that?? Well, I guess some people do because it got a nice rating on TV but trust me folks, this movie isn’t worth seeing..at all. So if you never listen to a single review I ever write, listen to me now and save yourselves!!
The Conclusion
Yep! What you would expect from the bastard child from Asylum and SyFy! But in reality, it’s a step back for Asylum because as bad of a rep as they usually get, I’ve seen watchable films from them. SyFy on the other hand?..Ah…no really. So like I said, nothing to see here.
The Rating (2/10)
Chucks website
