KAAAAAMEEE..HAAAMMMEEE…WHA??
Dragonball: Evolution (2009)
Directed By: James Wong
The Prologue
Do you know how hip I truly am?? I am soo hip that I know all about Dragonball. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball GT, I use to watch it all. Most the time I’d get home from school and watch it on Cartoon Network back in the day. So yeah to all you single ladies looking for a man who loved cool manga stuff, Chuck Conry is YOUR man! I know everything from a Piccolo to a Frieza! Frieza however is not needed here due to the fact he’s not in the movie I’m about to review today, Dragonball: Evolution. Dragonball movies have been made before but this was America’s turn damn it! And it stumbled out of the gate by not having an Asian man cast as Goku…DOH!
The Movie
Our story begins with Son Goku, who seeks out upon his adoptive grandfather Grandpa Gohan’s dying request (only the right thing to do right?) to find the great Master Roshi and gather all seven Dragon Balls. Goku has one himself but in order to prevent the evil Lord Piccolo (Who was THE man in the cartoons) from succeeding in his desire to use the Dragon Balls to take over the world. So it’s a race against time with everyone looking for balls..Dragonballs that is!
The problem with this movie (beside a white Goku) is the fact that it just doesn’t seem important at all. Now I am well aware it’s hard to put all the history of something like Dragonball in a single movie, but nothing at all seems important here. There are times that the film captures some of the charm of the original series and manga, but there is just a very strong feeling that haunts this film that makes nothing that happens at all seems dramatic or like it even matters. It’s like, oh there’s another Dragonball. Oh, there’s Piccolo. Oh, that’s a kinda cool fight scene. OH MY GOODNESS THE CHICK PLAYING BULMA IS SOO HOT!!! See? Nothing that should be important seems important due to the fact the movie makes no point to make them feel important (If I keep repeating that maybe someone out there will take note right?).
Now one thing I can say that is OK here is the fight scenes. They again don’t seem half as epic as the battles in the cartoons because I guess it’s not as easy to take a Goku vs. Piccolo fight that would span three episodes of Dragonball and fit it into a five minute battle here. But while the fights are cool and all, once again they lack importance and drama. Also, while I think Goku should have been Asian, I do think the rest of the casting was alright and all for what it was. Bulma, Chi Chi, and Master Roshi (Yun-Fat Chow), are all just fine for this film. But there’s a lot of little things in this film that are done wrong, and when they are all added up they make it somewhat a chore to watch.
Children who don’t know any better might not have a problem with this film, and maybe it’s aimed more for them, I don’t know. However, if you are at all with a well developed brain and you have seen any fair amount of Dragonball, this just won’t cut it for you and it shouldn’t. It breezes by stuff, the actors clearly for the most part don’t care, and nothing is dramatic or important as this rolls along to a very predictable ending. The movie at times tries to be cool but falls really short of resembling anything that seems cool. Sooo, as much as I love Dragonball, there is just nothing at all to see here. SKIP IT!
The Conclusion
Well, somebody sure didn’t know what they were doing here. It’s a classic example of something being to American-ized, and if you want proof look at our white “dreamy” hero that is there with his Twilight hair and with the intent of dazzling the teens out there. But looking at the box office you can see that it failed, and after seeing this for myself I can sure see why it did.
The Rating (4.5/10)
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