One of THE worst films ever made.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008)
Directed By: James Nguyen
The Prologue
Far be it for me, simply an online movie reviewer, to point my mouse and say when I feel someone isn’t doing a good job as director. But I just got to ask James Nguyen just what type of stuff he had to be smoking to make something like this movie here known as Birdemic: Shock and Terror! There are just some people that shouldn’t be allowed behind a camera, or directing a camera, and James my boy, you may very well be one of them. I had heard horror stories about this film going in and I want to make it a point to say that anything you might have heard negative about this film is all true! As a matter of fact, the reality of how bad this movie is might just be worse than you’ve heard! *Shivers*
The Movie
So we follow Ron (who is played by a living cardboard cutout I think), as he runs into his old classmate, Nathalie, and begins a romantic relationship with her. As all seems to be going perfectly well with both as far as their professional and personal lives go, they awake one day to find their area under attack from above by a massive group of eagle and vultures!! What follows next is a movie (and I use that term loosely) that would make anyone who has ever made a bird-attack movie roll in their graves, even if they aren’t dead yet! There’s bad, there is horrible, then there is THIS none sense.
If I were to point out every little thing wrong with this movie I’d be here all damn day. So let me just try to keep it simple OK? First off for these birds it looks like they used the cheapest and worse bird CGI I have ever seen in my whole entire life. It’s like they got N64 graphics of these things in two or three different forms and just tossed them all over the screen and decided to call it a day. This leads to the very same animations over and over, the same shots of these damn things over and over, and also some so bad it’s just sad moments of these characters using things like coat-hangers and randomly tossing them in the air to give off the impression that they are swinging at these things. I know this film had a low budget, but I’d rather see some plastic or rubber birds. It would have looked a lot better.
Then we have the lack of common sense. These birds are swarming the area right? And they appear to be dropping bombs out of their CGI asses because things appear from a distance to be blowing up below them? Also keep in mind that while these things are attacking at such a chaotic nature that our characters still are able to walk around out in the open freely and even decide to stop and has a damn picnic!? You read that right, folks. As the birds are all over the place and blowing things up, picking people’s eyes out, and just over all causing terrible havoc to the point the phone and communication are dead, they STILL are able to sit outside and have a picnic and only have to worry about a vulture or two. They aren’t even trying here and it clearly shows.
Usually in a film like this I can find a thing or two to say nice about the film. I can’t come up with a single nice thing to say about this. The acting is just soo soo amateur. The delivery and reactions are hilarious in the worst way possible. I guess if I HAD to say something nice it would be that Whitney Moore who plays Nat is at least hot. But still, she’s in one of the worst movies ever and she is going through the motions like everyone else. From awkward dance scenes to proclaiming that someone “Is taking a shit”, in the most out of left field fashion I have ever seen. This movie is so bad that showing it to someone should be a form of torture used to punish criminals. Not only is everything bad about it, but it’s boring. It also does NOT help at all that it takes about an over for the “Birdemic” to start and it has one of the worst endings I have seen in years to boot!..Skip, skip, skip. For the love of all that is dear to you, skip this movie.
The Conclusion
I could sleep better at night if I knew this was a film that was made this bad on purpose and that the tanking of this film that I witnessed was just a big joke, but it’s not. This movie was made and it was never meant to suck as bad as it does and that’s just sad. There’s nothing at all worth seeing here, NOTHING. It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s soo bad it makes you want to beat your head against a wall. Hands down, outside of Hip-Hop Massacre, this is the worst film I have ever seen..And I’ve seen Troll 2.
The Rating (1/10)
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