Last month I had one of those months were you just kind of want to crawl into the darkest Indiana Jones-Esq. cave possible and not come out until Aliens walk the earth. (Un)Lucky for me though, Harrison Ford never showed up and E.T didn’t want to see any free concerts in Millennium Park this year so I was kind of what you would say, “Shit out of luck”.
Randomly mid June my Grandma suddenly passed away. She was diagnosed with Cancer and only made it for 16 days after that. Obviously when you lose someone close to you your mind starts to do the wander game.Mine was no different. However, the one thing that my mind kept coming back to that kept bringing a huge smile to my face was the memory of how much my Grandma is to blame for my love of horror movies.
When I was a little kid I was no different than I am now. I was a snotty, loud-mouthed child who didn’t know how to sit still for the life of me. Now this sometimes posed a problem, because my Grandma was in today’s terms what you would call a Cougar. She loved platinum blonde hair, getting her nails done, tanning, playing Bingo and tube tops and playing 20 questions with a child didn’t always work when there was hair that needed to be teased. So she did what any Grandma would do, sat me down and put on Killer Klowns From Outer Space of course.
Probably not the most “age appropriate thing”, but let me tell you, the magicalness of this movie was the only thing that ever kept my mouth shut and eyes focused. Killer Klowns From Outer Space became a staple in my household as a child and has become an all time favorite of mine as an adult.
In 1988, Director Stephen Chiodo is to thank for making this creative B-Movie come to life. Killer Klowns From Outer Space is what some might call an oxymoron. It’s an 80′s movie that actually had decent special effects, tolerable acting, a great story line, and impressive costumes/makeup. It’s a kitschy, innovative horror movie that has a style that plays homage to some of the popular 50′s Esq. movies.
How can you really go wrong with a movie about aliens that look like clowns who on top of that have a spaceship that is a carnival tent? Even taking it a step further, clown aliens who kidnap people, wrap them in Cotton Candy cocoons, and drink their blood threw bendy straws? Also not to be forgotten, popcorn shooting guns, acidic pies, a bloodthirsty shadow puppet, a revenge missioned ice-cream truck, and the lovable Sheriff Curtis Mooney! I would love to live a day in the mind of the person who came up with this stuff.
So I will leave you with the wise words of Curtis Mooney, “I made it through Korea, I can make it through this bullshit….now let’s go eat some desserts”. Now I may have made that last part up but I’m sure if Mr. Mooney had the option of dessert he would have chosen it.
Bozo’s Big Top Banana Caramel Pie:
This pie is all your dreams come true in well…pie form. It has a caramel like center, a cookie like crust, and a pop of banana, whipped cream, and chocolate on top. What more could you want? Guaranteed to cure anybodies sweet tooth, and if not, you could always add acid, dress up in a clown suit, and go pillage the nearest town.
You will need:
For the Pie Crust
– 1 ¼ Cups All-Purpose Flour
– 1 Stick Butter Diced
– ¼ Cup Super Fine Sugar
For the Filling
– 1 Stick Butter Diced
– 7 Oz can skim, sweetened condensed milk
– ½ Cup Light Brown Sugar
– 2 Tablespoons Light Corn Syrup
– 2 Bananas Sliced
– A Dash of Lemon Juice
– Whipped Cream to decorate
-1 Teaspoon Grated semi-sweet chocolate to garnish
– 8 Inch Tart pan or Regular Circle pan
Then you:
First preheat the oven to 325F. With a hand or stand mixer, mix the flour and butter until it forms a crumble. Next add the sugar and mix to form a soft, pliable dough. Press the dough into the pan and bake for 30 minutes.
Now it’s time to make the filling! Put the butter in a pan with the milk, brown sugar, and syrup. Heat on a low heat until butter has melted and sugar has dissolved. Bring everything to a boil and cook for 7-10 minutes on low heat. Make sure to stir the mixture constantly, until it thickens and turns a light caramel color. Once the crust has finished baking and cooled pour the hot caramel filling into it and place it in the fridge for 30 minutes.
In the meantime, take the diced up bananas and lightly sprinkle with lemon juice. This step will prevent them from turning brown on top of your pie. After 30 minutes, remove the pie and arrange the bananas in an overlapping circle on top of the filling. Make sure to leave a gap in the center and fill it whipped cream and sprinkle it with the grated chocolate. Now all you need to do is find an unsuspecting victim and smash it in their face. (Just make sure to cut yourself a slice first)
A Curtis Mooney Raspberry and Orange Smooth-ey:
You will need:
– 1 ½ Cups Raspberries, chilled (You can use fresh or the bagged kind)
– 1 Cup Natural Plain Yogurt, chilled ( I used low-fat but you can use whatever)
– 1 ¼ cups Orange Juice, chilled
Then you:
Put the raspberries and yogurt in a food processor or blender and blend for about 1 minute. You want the consistency to be smooth and creamy. Next, add the orange juice to the mixture and blend for another 30 seconds or until it’s completely combined. And that is it! Told you it was easy. (Put back in the fridge for 10-15 minutes to make it extra cold!)
The new Chipotle Popcorn Gun version 2.0
What’s better than a popcorn gun? One that’s chipotle flavored! This popcorn has some bite, but even with the spice it still has good flavor to it.
You will need:
– 4 Cups of pre-popped popcorn (I used lightly buttered)
– 4 Teaspoons Vegetable Oil, 1 Tablespoon
– 1 Teaspoon Oregano
– 1 Teaspoon Basil
– ½ Teaspoon Garlic
– ½ Teaspoon Minced Onion
– ½ Teaspoon Chili Powder
– ½ Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
*(You’re going to need to mix the quantities of spices in one bowl, and then again in a separate bowl basically doubling the recipe.)
Then you:
Preheat the oven to 200F and pop the popcorn according to manufactures directions. Pre mix all spices together in 2 small bowls (It will be about 1 Tablespoon of spices in each bowl) then heat oil in a medium pan on low heat and stir in 1 bowl of seasoning mix. Next add the popcorn and mix until popcornis completely coated. Remove and transfer to a square baking dish. Next, add one Tablespoon of oil to the used pan and add the other small bowl of spices. Quickly stir together just to combine and then pour over the popcorn in the baking dish. Bake the popcorn for 10 minutes. Once done, remove from dish and let sit tray to cool for 30 minutes. Enjoy! (Wanna mix it up a little bit? Add about a cup of peanuts to the popcorn/seasoning mix when in the pan. Pretzels taste yummy too!)
I basically paired my 4 favorite things together. You have the creaminess and sweetness of the ice cream, the peanut butter from the Reese’s, and the chocolate with a pinch of sea salt. Yes sea salt! You’d be surprised to hear that it pairs perfectly with chocolate because it helps bring out the flavors in chocolate. Don’t believe me, give it a whirl for yourself!
You will need:
– Vanilla Ice cream, chilled
– 2 Bars of any baking chocolate of your choice ( I used Semi- Sweet)
– Mini Reese Cups
– Sea Salt
Then you:
FYI: You may want to wear plastic gloves for the first step if you’re sensitive to cold objects or don’t like getting hour hands dirty. This next task is a lot easier than you think it’s going to be because obviously ice cream is very moldable, however, time is of the essence because obviously ice cream is also very meltable ha ha. Form the frozen ice cream into a golf ball sized ball and then push a miniature Reese cup into the center and slightly smooth the ice cream back into a ball as to not see the Reese and then set on a parchment lined cooking tray. Then place the tray in the freezer for 1 hour.
After an hour remove ice cream balls, transfer them to a new parchment paper lined tray and melt the chocolate in a bowl in the microwave. Let chocolate slightly cool but not to the point it hardens. Individually spoon melted chocolate over ice cream balls until they are well covered. Sprinkle with a tiny amount of sea salt and then place in the freezer for a half hour. Serve cold as a dessert that’s to be eaten right away and make sure to store them in a container in the freezer if you have extra.
Shannons website
