Oh Fright Night, or should I say the latest classic horror movie to fall victim to the over saturated market of big screen horror re-makes. The only difference, in this case I can’t say that I fully hated the reboot. We’ll get into that a little later though.
The original Fright Night is a classic; I don’t care what anyone says. It was a vampire movie that stood on it’s own in a time when slasher films and virgin destruction was running rabid. Mr. Tom Holland sunk his teeth into this story line and I can tell the heart that comes through my DVD player every time I hit play. That same heart, I don’t think Craig Gillespie had in the 2011 version. The film was a little “dead behind the eyes”, and after having watched it I kind of felt like I had gotten the pretzel bites but someone forgot to give me the cheese. I just really wanted more out of it, and my main issue being the pace was just all kinds of wrong.
One of the best qualities of the 1985 version is hands down the flow of the movie. The pace is perfect, and it creates the ideal amount of suspense that has viewers itching from the inside out. The 2011 version, however, blows it’s wad like a teenage boy on prom night. Quick, uncomfortable, and guaranteed to leave you unsatisfied! All in all, it kind of makes me sad.
On the other hand, there are redeeming qualities. Despite my personal vendetta against Colin Farrell, I think he channeled the role of Jerry surprisingly pretty well. I also thought the movie, in general, was pretty well casted, and I really liked Christopher Mintz-Plasse as “Evil Ed”. At times the one-liners were great and the cameo by Chris Sarandon (Original 1985 Jerry) made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. So if I was forced to pick, I think I’d give the reboot a B-.
Not to shabby, and I think it warrants a tasty menu and an even tastier give away. This month I am teaming up with a fine young gentleman by the name of Andrew Klass. Andrew is an artistic genius, whom specializes in an area of art that most don’t. It’s tedious, it’s hard, and it’s amazing. I can’t fully wrap my mind around it but it consists of taking an image, spending hours carving all the detail out by hand, coating the finished product with ink kind of like a stamp, and then transferring it with out turning it into a bloody ink mess onto canvas. Lucky for us, he’s a horror fanatic too, and most of his prints pay homage to the horror genre. (Side note: you should see the “Hobo with a Shotgun” print he did that is hanging in a gallery in England! Wanna talk about a warm fuzzy feeling!) Anyways, he will be doing a special edition “Fright Night” canvas print (pictured below) and lucky for you I will be giving it away this month to one lucky CK reader. To enter, simply comment below , on the ZDR Facebook, or email me at CannibalKitchen213@gmail.com with your full name by September 26th.
Jerry’s Juice
Vampires may love red human juice, but I’ll stick with red summer juice in the form of a strawberry Banana Daiquiri. I mean you can add blood if you’d like, I won’t judge.
Ingredients:
-1 Tablespoon Lime Juice
-3 Tablespoons White Rum
-1 Teaspoon Sugar
-1/2 Cup Strawberries
-1/2 Ripe Banana
-1 Cup Ice
Directions:
Put all items in a blender and mix together. Serve chilled
A Garlicky Gag Gift
What’s the best gift for a suspected bloodthirsty neighbor? Some garlic bread of course! It also isn’t too shabby dipped in the lethal chili recipe below.
Ingredients:
– 1 Baguette or crusty French bread if you prefer larger slices
– ½ Cup butter or favorite Vegan friendly “Butter”
– 2 Crushed Garlic Cloves
– 1 Teaspoon Garlic Powder
– 1 Teaspoon Onion Salt
– 1 Teaspoon dried Basil
– 1 Teaspoon dried Parsley
Directions:
Slice the loaf of bread horizontally but with out cutting all the way threw the bread. You want the slices still attached at the base. Mix all ingredients together and then spread them evenly on the sliced bread in between each cut and then press the loaf back together. Wrap the loaf tightly in foil and bake at 400F for about 15 minutes.
A Frightening Night with Charley’s Chili
It’s about that time in the season that you want to sip pumpkin latte’s and bask in a hearty bowl of chili isn’t it? This chili is easy to make, has the perfect bean ratio, and is mixed withthe right amount of heat to make you want seconds. So what are you waiting for, start of chili season with this little bowl of love! Oh yes, and by simply substituting the ground beef with some Light Life “sausage” crumbles makes this chili a vegan crowd pleaser.
Ingredients:
– 1 Crock Pot, Slow Cooker or Large Cooking Pan that you will be home to monitor
– 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
– 14 ounces of ground beef or 1 package of Light Life Gimme Lean Ground Sausage crumbles
– 1 Poblano Pepper or 1 jalapeño pepper; seeds removed and diced can be substituted
– ½ Green Pepper
– ½ Red Pepper
– ½ Large White Onion
– 5 Tomatillos
– 2 Large Cans Crushed Tomatoes
– 1 Cup Red Wine
– 1 Cup Water
– 4 Cloves Crushed Garlic
– 1 Can of Beans (I used red kidney beans)
Spice blend ingredients:
-2 Tablespoons Cumin
-2 Tablespoons Chili Powder
-2 Tablespoons Paprika
-4 Teaspoons Salt
-2 Teaspoons Black Pepper
-2 Teaspoons Dried Oregano
-2 Teaspoons Sugar
-1 Teaspoon Thyme
-1 Teaspoon Cinnamon
-1/2 Teaspoon Nutmeg
Directions:
First you want to fry up the ground beef or meat substitute in olive oil until cooked. Then chop up the peppers, onion, garlic and tomatillo and put them into a slow cooker with the tomatoes, “meat”, wine, and water. Cover and allow to cook on low for 5 hours. This allows all the spices to make love together and create the perfect balance of taste. While it is sitting make sure to mix all the spices together and set aside for later.
After 5 hours, add beans and 4-5 Tablespoons of the spice blend. Allow cooking for an additional 15 minutes and serve warm. Have leftovers, no worries, this stuff re-heats beautifully for a feast for days.
Blood Cream
This is a light creamy ice cream both vibrant in fruity taste and vibrant in color. It’s a great prepare-ahead dessert for a dinner party or a nice late night snack to please the sweet toot
h but with out being too heavy.
Ingredients:
-3 Cups Blackberries
-2 Cups Strawberries
-6 Tablespoons Superfine Sugar
-1 ¼ Cups Whipping Cream
Directions:
Put the Blackberries and Strawberries into a pan and add 2 Tablespoons water and the sugar. Cover and simmer on low for 5 minutes until they turn soft. Remove the fruit and place in a sieve over a bowl and press firmly with a spoon. Let what remains in the bowl cool and then chill in the fridge.
Next, whip the cream until it becomes thick but still soft enough to fall from a spoon and then mix it with the chilled fruit puree. Pour the mixture into a container and freeze covered for 2 hours.
After 2 hours, mix up the mixture with a fork or a food processor to break up the ice crystals. Then return it back to the freezer covered for an additional 4 hours. 2 hours into freezing, make sure to remove it and give it a quick mix then return it once more to the freezer for the remaining 2 hours. Make sure to serve with a couple extra fresh blackberries and strawberries for decoration.
