“100% medically INaccurate”
Human Centipede (First Sequence) has quickly become a household name. Is it even mentally right of me to say that I felt it was an artistic and beautifully made film? Dare I say that Dr. Heiter was an amazingly orchestrated character, which at points had me cheering for his survival? Being PC was never my cup of tea, so I’ll just right it off at that. Needless to say, I’ve been squirming in my seat since then as to what Tom Six had in store for us with round 2.
I first watched Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) a couple of months ago, and I think I’m just starting to pick my jaw off the floor. There is no denying that HC2 is a very different film that often pushes the boundaries of what is viewer except-able. In the same hand, there is no denying that Tom Six is a great director that I believe is smarter than people give him credit for. Tom Six knows how to make people talk, and beyond talking, makes people KEEP talking for months to come. He is a “no holds barred”, take that stick of controversy and stab you in the eye with a smile kind of guy. I for one respect that.
While watching HC2, I literally felt like I was losing my mind. I can’t think of the last film that has made me feel that way. The throw back to black and white film making half made this movie. With out it, the eeriness of the movie wouldn’t have been on the level it was. What was the other half you ask? Well, that was the main character, Martin, of course. Martin was genius casting. From his mannerisms to his lack of speaking, Martin’s demeanor as a whole carried this film. I personally giggled every time he would visibly become annoyed by something, and with out real dialogue that is very difficult for a character to do.
Due to the controversy behind this film, I’m sure many of you won’t agree with my stance on it. That is by all means fine. After Human Centipede (First Sequence) came out, many fans scolded Six for not making a “gory enough film”. It’s undeniable that with HC2 that is exactly what Six accomplished, and that is exactly what he is now getting backlash for. I guess it’s always going to be fact that you can’t please everyone, but I for one am excited to see what comes next. For now, let’s all get some gratuitous gore and pick up a copy of Human Centipede 2 Unrated. It drops tomorrow with IFC Films, and don’t you worry your pretty little head, I already planned your Valentines Day dinner for you. You’re welcome.
A Medically INaccurate Rack
Ingredients:
Serves 2
Obsession Asparagus
I’m a sucker for asparagus. This asparagus and onion dish is extremely tender, savory, and all around tasty as can be. It has a teriyaki flavor with a mild spicy flare at the end. I think Martin knew a thing or two about a spicy flare at the end of his sandpaper rondevu. Moving on…
Ingredients:
– 1 Pound Thicker sized Asparagus, Chopped and bottoms of stalks discarded
– 1/2 Cup Onion, Chopped
– 1/4 Cup Soy Sauce
– 1 Teaspoon Chili Sauce
– 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
Directions:
In a medium sized pan, over medium heat, saute asparagus and onions in olive oil for 5 minutes. In the mean time, mix together soy sauce and chili sauce in small bowl. Reduce the heat to medium-low, and add the soy sauce mixture to the asparagus. Stir to evenly coat, and then cover and allow to simmer for 8 minutes; stir occasionally. After 10 minutes, drain out the liquid, and continue to saute for 1 more minute. Serve warm.
Serves 2
The “Please Don’t Shart Tart”
I think the title says it all. These mini tarts have chocolate, peanut butter, banana, and pretzels. That my friend is a recipe to kill. Don’t believe me, ask Elvis.
Crust Ingredients:
– 3 Cups Chocolate Graham Crackers, Crushed
– 6 Tablespoons Sugar
– 1 Cup Butter, melted
Filling Ingredients:
– 1 (8 Ounce) Cream Cheese, At room temperature
– 1 Cup Creamy Peanut Butter
– 3/4 Cup Powdered Sugar
– 1 (8 Ounce) Cool Whip
Topping Ingredients:
– 1 Banana, Chopped
– 1 Bag of Pretzels
– 1 Bottle of Hershey’s Shell (It’s a chocolate that hardens upon using)
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F. In a large bowl mix together all crust ingredients. Press into the bottom and up the sides of a lightly greased mini cupcake tin. Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until firm. Warning, the mini cupcake tin doesn’t leave the crust much room to grow, so after you remove it from the oven you will need to remake the holes. It’s easy though because the crust is very pliable. Just use the back of a 1/2 Teaspoon and gently press it into the center of the crust and push into the sides forming a small hole. These should now look like mini pie crusts. Allow to cool in the tin for 10 minutes before gently removing.
In the mean time, in a large bowl beat together peanut butter and cream cheese. Next, add powdered sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Fold in the cool whip and mix until well blended. Pour the mixture into the cooled mini pie crusts, and refrigerate for 3-4 hours.
Once tarts have firmed up, assemble each by placing 1 slice of banana on top, followed by one pretzel, and then a small amount of “shell” chocolate drizzled over the top. Return to the refrigerator for 10 minutes. Serve
Makes 32
As usual, have a Cannibalistic HC-Day from Cannibal Kitchen everyone! Don’t eat to many people.
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