“If you hear a strange sound in the woods…have sex”
The Cabin in the Woods, in all sense of the words, is a horror film made by horror lovers for other horror lovers. It basically is over flowing from the cracks with everything needed to be a crowd panty dropper for both men and women alike. Almost a month later, I for one, am typing this article with my panties still around my ankles. I have a sickness. In all seriousness though, I wouldn’t be surprised to see this film grace my top list for 2012.
With this review, I’m really going to be very careful as to not tread into “Spoilersville, USA”, because it really would be a crime against humanity if I did so. I don’t say this very often, but I truly feel “The Cabin in the Woods”, is best viewed with blind expectations and with little to know knowledge of what is about to unfold in front of you. That’s how I went into it, and for that I am thankful.
I’m sure most of you have seen the trailer at this point, and are aware that the story line seems pretty typical. Five friends head into the woods (surprise surprise), and each seems to fit some form of stereotype. Then of course, stuff starts to pop off and people start to die. What you don’t get to see in the trailer is that, although the tone of this film borrows from others (Scream and Evil Dead come to mind), it is really a very unique movie.
Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard both share writing credit on this film, and Goddard stands as the Director. This is no shocker, because everything about this film in it’s style screams being born of that duo. If you are unfamiliar, these two have had their hands in some cult shows over the years (IE. Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Lost, Cloverfield, Etc). I for one was sold at Buffy. Fact is, if you aren’t a Buffy fan, we probably can’t be friends anymore. “The Cabin in the Woods” will have you at the edge of your seat from suspense in one scene, and then laughing until pop comes out of your nose in the next. If you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favor and do so.
For real though, if you can make pop come out of your nose, please let me know. You will be my new movie going partner. I’ll even make these “camping” inspired dishes to bring along. After all, who doesn’t like fancy sandwiches?
The MerMANWICH
I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who didn’t like a turkey sandwich. On that note, it’s 2012, and I think it’s time we make the turkey sandwich of the future. I guarantee you it’ll have all the men in your life tap dancing like they have fins. And, before you all get the “gross out” face, the tartness of apples compliments the spiciness of the mustard and Colby Jack or Provolone very nicely. Give it a try…I dare you.
Ingredients:
– 1/2 Pound Deli Turkey, Sliced
– 1 Loaf Rye Bread, I prefer Onion Rye
– 4 Slices Provolone or Colby Jack
– 3 Ounces Cream Cheese, At room temperature
– 2 Tablespoons Spicy Mustard
– 2 Tablespoons Green Apple, Diced
– Generous amount Baby Spinach
Directions:
In a small bowl mix together the cream cheese, mustard, and apples. Set aside. To assemble the sandwich, do a layer of the cream cheese mixture on each piece of bread. Follow with 1 slice of cheese, half the turkey, 1 slice of cheese, and some baby spinach. Put the pieces of bread together and serve whole or cut in half.
Makes 2
The Buckner’s Vengeful Veggie
The Buckner’s were a spiteful bunch. Luckily, the only thing this veggie sandwich is spiteful to is your taste buds. Don’t let this meat free option fool you, it’s perfect even for the most blood hungry, carnivorous bunch.
Ingredients:
– 1 Loaf Thick Cut, Quality White Bread
– 4 Slices Provolone Cheese
– 1 Package Feta Cheese Crumbles
– 1 Small Package Basil Pesto
– 1 Small Jar Olive Spread
– 1 Small Jar Sun Dried Tomatoes
– 1 Bag Baby Spinach
– 8 Cucumber Slices
Directions:
Set the broiler to hi. On one slice of bread, put a generous amount of olive spread. On the other slice, put a generous amount of pesto, followed by a generous amount of feta, and then 2 slices of provolone cheese. Place on a baking sheet, and put in the oven. Cook until bread becomes toasted and provolone has slightly melted; about 3-5 minutes. Remove, and then on the olive spread side place a generous amount of sun dried tomatoes. Follow by a and 4 cucumbers. On the melted cheese side, place a good amount of baby spinach. Place the two halves of bread together. Serve whole or sliced in half.
Makes 2
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