Amityville Death Toilet (2023) (Blu-ray Review)
DIRECTED BY: Evan Jacobs
STARRING: Isaac Golub, Mike Hartsfield, Roy Englebrecht
RATED: UR/Region: O/1:78/1080P/NUMBER OF DISCS 1 (BD-r)
AVAILABLE FROM SRS Cinema
I have to give Evan Jacobs credit for one thing: commitment. Most filmmakers have a joke, run it into the ground, and then move on. Jacobs looked at the idea of killer toilets and apparently thought, “No, I can build a cinematic universe out of this.” The fact that he’s managed to make an entire series of movies about homicidal porcelain fixtures is oddly impressive. The gag probably had the shelf life of a gas station burrito, yet somehow people keep watching them. Honestly, that’s almost more fascinating than the movies themselves.
Then there’s Amityville Death Toilet, which once again proves that slapping “Amityville” on a title is less of a creative decision and more of a lifestyle at this point. It has absolutely nothing to do with the classic haunted house beyond borrowing the name like it’s an overdue library book that nobody’s asking to have returned.
You’d think a movie about a murderous toilet would at least have the courtesy to move at a brisk pace. Surprisingly, no. Even with its mercifully short runtime, there are stretches where you can practically hear the filmmakers asking, “Can everyone just stand around for another two minutes?” Scenes linger long after they’ve made their point, conversations meander into nowhere, and filler somehow becomes the real monster.
The acting ranges from enthusiastic to “I’m pretty sure they just wandered onto the set,” while the effects and production values are exactly what you’d expect from a movie called Amityville Death Toilet. If you’re looking for polished filmmaking, you’ve made a series of terrible life choices to arrive here.
That’s not to say there’s no audience for this. Fans of ultra-low-budget, intentionally ridiculous horror may find some charm in its sheer refusal to care what anyone thinks. There is a certain earnestness to the whole production that’s hard to completely hate. It’s just that earnestness alone can’t overcome a script that feels like it was stretched thinner than the budget.
In the end, Amityville Death Toilet is less of a movie and more of a dare. I can respect Evan Jacobs for sticking with his bizarre vision and somehow turning killer toilets into an ongoing franchise. I just wish the actual films were half as entertaining as the premise sounds on paper. Instead, you’re left waiting for the next scene to happen… and occasionally wondering if the toilet is the only thing in the movie that knows how to flush.
Extras
- Audio Commentary
- Making Of
- Trailers
