The Class of ’74 (1972) (Blu-ray Review)
DIRECTED BY: Mack Bing, Arthur Marks
STARRING: Pat Woodell, Marki Bey, Sondra Currie, Barbara Mills
RATED: UR/REGION A/1:85/1080P/NUMBER OF DISCS 1
AVAILABLE FROM Film Masters
Jurassic World Rebirth answers the age-old question: “What if we made the same dinosaur movie again, but called it something slightly different?” And the answer, apparently, is: “Eh, people will still buy tickets.”
The dinosaurs look great, I’ll give them that. The CGI is slick enough that you almost forget you’ve seen the same T. rex chase scene in every single Jurassic movie since 1993. At this point, the poor beast deserves royalties. Still, the dinos remain the franchise’s only consistent stars, since the human characters continue to be written with all the depth of a fast-food napkin.
The story? Oh, you know the drill. Scientists play God, things go wrong, and then everyone runs while screaming “We’ve gone too far!” like it’s some shocking revelation. Spoiler: they had gone too far back in The Lost World. By now they’re just filing paperwork on their way to “Way Too Far.”
As for the new twists—look, if you thought genetically modified dinosaurs were silly, wait until you see what happens when Hollywood brainstorms “rebirth.” I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say it makes Jurassic Park III look like Citizen Kane.
The actors do what they can, which mostly means running in slow motion and shouting “Go! Go!” like they’re trapped in a video game cutscene. The only performance that feels real is the extra who drops his soda when a Pteranodon swoops down. That man deserves an Oscar for honesty.
In the end, Jurassic World Rebirth isn’t so much a rebirth as it is a resurrection ritual where the body keeps coming back with fewer vital organs. It’s not terrible—it’s watchable, even fun in a “laugh at it with friends” kind of way—but it’s also proof that Universal will never let this franchise go extinct as long as they can squeeze one more Velociraptor roar out of it.
Verdict: See it if you love dinosaurs. Skip it if you love original ideas.
Extras
- Commentary by Film Historian Heath Holland host of Cereal at Midnight
- Liner Notes by Amanda Reyes
